quinta-feira, 5 de novembro de 2009

Delusional writing. Go read about the uniban nazi.

I hate to go back to same effing thing, but don't you sometimes feel like you're an expectant? You're so tired or bored you just sort of lean back and watch? Only you're not really leaning back, you're on autopilot. And that autopilot does the strangest things. And you can only be stunned by the words coming out of your mouth, or your new walk and that new way of staring at nothing every couple of sentences? And what's so weird is that you're not making any effort. You're not thinking. Or at least the thinking doesn't become words. And yet there you stand, apparently really interested in discussing food packages, saying how much you like pizza. No need to focus, no need to feel the doubt, just talking and listening and gesticulating, sort of the same way you make your heart beat, almost a reflex. And everything is so calm and... neutral. And you begin to wonder where the hell that girl came from, and why had she been away all this time. Don't you ever feel like that? Don't you have the impression that sometimes the person speaking isn't even you? And it's not even a bad thing, specially not while it's happening, it's just so weird.
Okay, maybe I'm way too bored and sleepy and my brain is on standby due to the fighting bacteria stage. Or maybe I only make sense to the little person coughing in the back of my head. But whatever. What are blogs for anyway?